America's Next Top Model: From talking trash to plain, old trash
My, how things have changed for the contestants on America's Next Top Model. Brittani’s bad behavior last week has landed a big, ugly target on her back and she doesn’t seem to understand how to get people to like her again (psst—stop scowling). Meanwhile, Alexandria has suddenly become everyone’s favorite. Jeez, we go away for a week and return to Bizzaro World.
Stinky, cold, silence
After a really uncomfortable panel the models make nice in the limo, kiss and make up, and are whisked off to another location where they meet up with Tyra. Brit’s a bit shaken still but tries to suck it up and move on—meanwhile, not a word from Tyra, who made it clear that she’s not interested in keeping the girl around much longer. Tyra’s surrounded by framed photos of the girls and explains how to get their portfolios together. Creating a portfolio is not as easy as it looks. But the good news is that you don’t need a ton of pix to get the job done. Tyra booked 25 fashion shows in Paris off of just 3 photos.
Then Tyra whips out a big letter C and tells the models to look into their portfolios to find the other missing letters that spell out the international location where they’ll be going next week. Oh, come on! These are models -- we’re guessing they don’t do the New York Times crossword puzzles. So we settle in for what may be a very long wait. But they figure out Morocco pretty quickly and once again we’re jealous that we’re not going with them. Field reporters, anyone? Tyra? Maybe next cycle.
Go time for the go-sees
The bad news is that there are only five seats on the plane and the girls will be judged by the go-sees that they have to attend the next day. Book ‘em and go to beautiful Morocco. Don’t book ‘em and go home.
The next day Kyla Hagler from IMG Models shows up at the apartment for the go-sees. The models have four hours to get to four different castings. They’ll have to meet him at the fifth, and last, go-see—Lana Marks—at 3 o’clock and the top three earn the bonus fifth go-see at Lana’s. As usual, if they arrive after 3 they’re disqualified. We hate that rule! Alexandria already has a leg-up because she is from LA and knows the turf. But as per usual she’s wearing the Daisy Dukes. Fail... or so we thought.
Maps end up being difficult for many of the girls. Well, there’s the folding and the reading. The first go-see is at Frankie B. Jeans. Everyone makes it but Molly arrives last and decides to skip it to save time, which is too bad because everyone booked at Frankie B. Next stop is House Casting where they have to do a commercial. Smashbox Studios is the location for the sports go-see and many of the girls don’t come prepared.
The girls play it safe and skip some of their go-sees in order to make it back on time. And they all do. Even Alexandria (who made the most go-sees) makes it back with 30 seconds to spare.
Molly, Alexandria and Kasia win the top three prize and get to do the bonus go-see. The winner of that will star in the next global campaign for Lana Marks and win all kinds of faboo prizes. And the winner is Alexandria, who Lana thought was “magnificent.” The other models are nasty-green with envy.
The girls get trashy
The photo shoot this week is at Olinda Landfill -- it’s nasty and stinky and…well…full of trash. Nigel is the photographer and the girls get eco-friendly couture designed specifically for them by Michael Cinco. The pieces are pretty cool and are made up of old, broken glass and discarded items that are much, much nicer than the surrounding refuse. The birds are insane and swooping and diving over the debris. Unfortunately, Jay Manuel, even gets pooped on several times. Who said this modeling thing was glamorous? But the girls troop through it and, hoping to show some extra effort, Brit even crawls in the trash on the ground. On the other hand, Molly is full of piss and vinegar as she tends to be lately -- complaining and sporting a really bad attitude.
Added pain at panel
Lana Marks joins us as the guest panelist this week, and not only will the models be judged by their performance at the go-sees, but their garbage photo as well.
Alexandria is up first and Tyra tells her that she made four go-sees and booked everyone. Everyone loved her and we’re baffled. True, she does seem to have turned a corner, but those shorts! And her photo was truly high-fashion. Jaclyn only made it to two go-sees but at least she booked them both. But her photo was just okay. Molly made four out of five go-sees but only booked two. The clients could see her bad ‘tude when she thought she wasn’t being watched. We also think she could have benefited by wearing just a little makeup to the go-sees, or maybe doing her hair. But her photo is incredible and editorial. Kasia made four go-sees but only booked two. Clients thought she seemed rehearsed at times. And her photo is lovely. Hannah made three go-sees and booked two. Her photo is stunning and her self-confidence finally comes through with some prodding from Nigel. Brittani starts her moment at panel by apologizing, which helps her case. She got to two go-sees and booked them both. And crawling in the trash paid off because her photo ends up looking really high-fashion.
Everybody’s new favorite, Alexandria, gets best photo of the week and Hannah gets runner-up. Jaclyn and Molly end up in the junk heap, and after what the judges say was a very difficult decision they end up sending cute, wonderful Jaclyn home and keeping bitter Molly -- whose cranky ass now gets to go to Morocco. Her portfolio is just too strong even though she’s a really horrible person. We’ll miss little Jaclyn who was smiling and sweet, even as she was getting booted off the show.